So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
