I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
