just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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