You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
