Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just gargled with NyQuil
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
