Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
