If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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