i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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