i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
