Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Randomize
