when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize