I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
