Three words: puerto rican gang bang
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
