Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
we're making bets on your personal life
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
