oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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