This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Randomize
