But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
