Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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