at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
