I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
