If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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