so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
