I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
