This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
