I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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