Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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