I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
