i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
