Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
