That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
