can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I enjoy the company of your penis
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
