ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
