That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
