Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
