there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
