so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
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make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
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Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
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