Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
