it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
