You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
