So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
