it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
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This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
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So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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