Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
