Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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