But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
My penis needs a shock collar
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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