Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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