If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
