You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
