Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Randomize
