My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
