3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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