I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
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