Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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