i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
