I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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