I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Randomize
