i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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